Just Fucking Shut Up and Listen.
This is a skill that we all need to learn.
If you just thought of interrupting, then you are in even dire need of this skill.
To listen, you really must SHUT UP and wait until the other person has FINISHED even BEFORE you say a blardy thing.
Because ANY form of interruption basically means that you have NO interest whatsoever in what you partner is talking about and that you only wish to impose your views onto him without considering your PARTNERs' point of view.
Hard isn't it? Because this means that in order to really listen, you have to shut up when:
You think you know what he is going to say next
You know what he is going to say next
You vehemently disagrees with whatever he says
What your partner says makes absolutely no sense to you
When you think you are right
When you know you are right
When you are actually quite sick of listening to more
When you know that listening any further is of no use
etc etc etc...
My point being, if you really want to learn the art of listening, the hardest thing to do is to shut up. Shutting Up is really the secret to listening. Once you do that, you will realise that more often than not, certain details that you once thought was insignificant might be brought into the light, clearing up whatever misunderstanding that happened in the first place.
After shutting up, is to actually process the blardy information.
NO MATTER HOW RIGHT YOU (THINK) YOU ARE, question it when someone disagrees.
eg. I have black hair. I know I have black hair. Jane tells me I got brown hair. NO MATTER HOW colour blind I think she is, I will still ask myself ,'hmmm really? Is it that she is colour blind? Or is it that she saw the tinge of brown under another shade of light which I have not seen myself.' After that, if you still confirm that its black, then fine, argue and explain.
DO NOT REJECT ANY DISAGREEMENTS IMMEDIATELY. Doing so shows that you do not even respect to other person's point of view and doing so will ultimately hurt his ego, intentional or not. Consider all possibilities. Because you are not God.
The whole idea is not to always agree, but to agree to disagree with reason. What if your partner is right? Then you'd save yourself from potential embarrassment.
So many misunderstandings can be resolved.
Be prepared also to learn of ugly but important truths about yourself.
So:
Shut Up
Listen
Consider Possibilities
THEN argue.
If you just thought of interrupting, then you are in even dire need of this skill.
To listen, you really must SHUT UP and wait until the other person has FINISHED even BEFORE you say a blardy thing.
Because ANY form of interruption basically means that you have NO interest whatsoever in what you partner is talking about and that you only wish to impose your views onto him without considering your PARTNERs' point of view.
Hard isn't it? Because this means that in order to really listen, you have to shut up when:
You think you know what he is going to say next
You know what he is going to say next
You vehemently disagrees with whatever he says
What your partner says makes absolutely no sense to you
When you think you are right
When you know you are right
When you are actually quite sick of listening to more
When you know that listening any further is of no use
etc etc etc...
My point being, if you really want to learn the art of listening, the hardest thing to do is to shut up. Shutting Up is really the secret to listening. Once you do that, you will realise that more often than not, certain details that you once thought was insignificant might be brought into the light, clearing up whatever misunderstanding that happened in the first place.
After shutting up, is to actually process the blardy information.
NO MATTER HOW RIGHT YOU (THINK) YOU ARE, question it when someone disagrees.
eg. I have black hair. I know I have black hair. Jane tells me I got brown hair. NO MATTER HOW colour blind I think she is, I will still ask myself ,'hmmm really? Is it that she is colour blind? Or is it that she saw the tinge of brown under another shade of light which I have not seen myself.' After that, if you still confirm that its black, then fine, argue and explain.
DO NOT REJECT ANY DISAGREEMENTS IMMEDIATELY. Doing so shows that you do not even respect to other person's point of view and doing so will ultimately hurt his ego, intentional or not. Consider all possibilities. Because you are not God.
The whole idea is not to always agree, but to agree to disagree with reason. What if your partner is right? Then you'd save yourself from potential embarrassment.
So many misunderstandings can be resolved.
Be prepared also to learn of ugly but important truths about yourself.
So:
Shut Up
Listen
Consider Possibilities
THEN argue.
posted by Bugger at 2:11 AM
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